Are You Doing It All? Use This Mental Load Checklist to Find Out

If your mind is constantly tugging at the tangle of life's commitments, you might be carrying the mental load.

From keeping track of chores to maintaining meaningful connections with people and fulfilling professional obligations, the mental load often lurks in the background, subtly influencing your decisions and emotional well-being.

Read on to learn more about mental load and how it affects our daily lives. Are you ready to gain valuable insight into your everyday experience and discover practical solutions to become more fulfilled and balanced? Let’s go!

What is the Mental Load and How Does It Affect Productivity?

As a parent, spouse, or community member, your mental load consists of the intellectual and emotional labor required to run a household, maintain relationships, and participate in community activities. In essence, it is that persistent voice reminding you of the thousands of chores that need to be done, like the empty fridge, un-bought gifts, and dirty laundry. 

Studies have shown that women perform more housework than men. Despite taking to the labor market, a woman's role at home does not scale back with professional commitments and higher earnings. This ultimately means that women carry the heavier mental load.

Because mental load has no specific start and end time, it is difficult to notice, and consequently significantly reduces productivity since it places a constant cognitive burden on the person without them being aware of it.

Invisible tasks can lead to reduced focus and cognitive overload, ultimately affecting one's performance at work. Over time, coping with a heavy mental load can lead to burnout and stress, reducing productivity.

The Mental Load Checklist 

Because mental load is all that energy spent on invisible tasks, such as home chores and remembering appointments, it is vital to acknowledge these responsibilities contributing to the ever-present pressure. A simple checklist can help you do this.

Multiple errands, often left off to-do lists, contribute to the mental load, which affects your productivity, well-being, and overall harmony. Here is a task list that will reveal the invisible labor that causes you to feel frustrated and distressed without you even realizing it:

Self

Especially in self-care, where checklists are plentiful, it's easy for the seemingly simple tasks to become overwhelming without notice. The following items may be occupying your mind right now.

  • Thinking about your long-term career goals

  • Maintaining mental health

  • Saving and organizing for personal financial goals

  • Making appointments for your personal healthcare

  • Attending appointments

  • Creating your daily to-do list

  • Reflecting on personal growth and well-being

  • Consistently exercising every day

  • Get your morning and night routine on point

You Might Also Like: 20 Quotes for Women’s Empowerment

Partner

Caring for your significant other can be a great source of joy - and, occasionally, a heavy burden. Here are some of the most common sources of the mental load in romantic relationships:

  • Remembering special dates like anniversaries and birthdays

  • Organizing surprise gestures or gifts

  • Meal planning food you know your partner likes

  • Taking into account and accommodating their preferences in day-to-day activities

  • Supporting their personal and professional goals

  • Attending all of their family gatherings and special events

  • Selecting the music your partner enjoys

❤️ Struggling to explain your mental load to your loved one? Check out a complete guide to discussing the mental load with your partner from family psychologist Clara Roberts Otero.

Household

Keeping your house in good shape is an excellent way to keep your mental and emotional well-being. However, taking on all the tasks by yourself can be exhausting. These are some of them: 

  • Creating a to-do list with all the chores of home maintenance

  • Managing repairs when they are needed

  • Keeping track of household supplies

  • Making your grocery list for the week

  • Grocery shopping

  • Planning meals

  • Decluttering and cleaning during the seasonal change

  • Managing waste recycling and disposal regularly

  • Staying on top of the chores

  • Ensuring the clothes and sheets are clean

  • Washing and hanging laundry

  • Putting away laundry and folding it

  • Making beds

  • Cooking dinner

  • Doing the dishes

  • Keeping the bathroom clean

  • Watering the flowers

  • Wiping and dusting

picture of legs of a woman with a broomstick in the hand and some cleaning tools in the other

Community

You can contribute to the well-being of their communities in several ways. Let's take a look at a few examples of them here:

  • Organizing events and meetings to get together

  • Taking part in neighborhood events or meetings

  • Keeping in touch with neighbors to maintain good relations

  • Being available to help your neighbors if they need it

  • Contributing time and resources to community projects

  • Organizing and coordinating local fundraisers and charity drives

  • Keeping up-to-date with local news

  • Paying a visit to neighbors on their birthdays and giving them gifts

  • Listening to your neighbors when there is a problem to be resolved

Workplace 

While active job participation is undoubtedly rewarding, it simultaneously gives rise to a set of hidden responsibilities that collectively add to the mental burden of one's daily life.

  • Organizing office celebrations or social gatherings

  • Supporting the career development of your co-workers

  • Socializing with colleagues after work hours

  • Developing a solid bond with coworkers

  • Completing a task outside of your regular working hours

  • Taking time from your job to help a co-worker solve a problem

  • Managing work-related stress


Kids

young mom lying on the floor in the middle of a pile of dirty laundry with two kids playing in the mess

Aside from all the joys that come with having children, several duties require commitment and attention:

  • Assisting with the planning and coordination of extracurricular activities

  • Helping your kids with school assignments, projects, and deadlines.

  • Arranging playdates 

  • Providing transportation to various activities your child might be interested in.

  • Preparing and planning school lunches and snacks.

  • Providing emotional and educational support as needed.

  • Knowing your kids friends' names

  • Knowing your children's friends' parents

  • Knowing what is going on in the lives of your children

  • Having conversations with teenagers  about what is worrying them 

  • Set rules with your children and make sure they follow them

How to Talk About Mental Load with Your Partner

Managing the mental load and completing duties can be difficult when family demands are high. 

When not shared or addressed, the mental load can lead to frustration, stress, and a never-ending problem for one partner. Even though women carry a heavier mental load than men, the first step is determining how your duties are distributed in your home since each home is different. From there, you can figure out how to handle your mental load.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, here are some key points that will help you discuss this issue with your partner:

  • Review the household chores mentioned in the above to-do list and assess together if the responsibilities are evenly distributed.

  • Before approaching your partner, pinpoint the tasks that particularly drain your energy and communicate how they impact your well-being.

  • If your partner struggles to empathize and you still feel unsupported, suggest they take charge of your chores for two days. Following this period, discuss and share the feelings each of you experienced.

It is essential to have a constructive and open discussion about the mental load, fostering understanding, empathy, and solutions that allow both partners to contribute more equally to the shared chores of daily life. 

By incorporating these strategies into your relationship, you can create a healthier and more balanced dynamic, reduce your risk of burnout, and enhance your overall well-being.