Perfectionism, Anxiety & Task Completion: Is 'Good' Enough?

Cue: Your day. 

Waking up. Planning to do things. Doing things. You did it (random thing you had to do)! 🎉

Your official result: good. 

But is good - enough? (Hint💡Yes! But…it’s complicated, right?) Good isn’t perfect, after all!

Good is solid. 

It’s a B grade. Middle of the road. A job well done. A 3-ish on the customer satisfaction scale, and a very passable answer to anyone who asks, “How are you today?”. 

“Good!”

🙂 (slightly smiling face emoji)

Does that little voice in the back of your head agree? 

Maybe you’re thinking Ha! As if. Maybe good isn’t where you wrap up for the day, but rather the moment you kick into high gear and deliver your signature home run, wowing everyone with your flawless achievement! Wow!

But even then…do you allow yourself the simple joy of a moment when you sit back and appreciate your hard work? Or does your mind jump right into how to maintain your win, and hit another home run? 😳

If you experience intrusive thoughts surrounding the theme that I could've done better - no matter what you do or how hard you try - then you might be struggling with anxiety-fueled perfectionism. 

Overcoming any kind of perfectionism can be challenging, but anxiety-fueled perfectionism can be particularly difficult to handle on your own. 

If you ignore the signs of this dangerous form of doing-right, you might find yourself in a frightening spiral of negative self-talk that can trigger a range of serious mental health conditions, including OCD, eating disorders and even depression.  

There is hope though 🌼

Recognize the signs of anxiety-filled perfectionism early, and you’ll prevent more serious problems arising down the road.

What Is Perfectionism?

According to the American Psychological Association, "perfectionism" is "the tendency to demand of others or of oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation".¹ 

Is this really such a bad thing? Well, it definitely can be. 

Psychologists generally divide perfectionism into two categories:

• Adaptive perfectionism: Adaptive perfectionism is oriented around achievement, improvement, and personal growth. This positive form of perfectionism revolves around setting ambitious goals and working hard to achieve them.

• Maladaptive perfectionism: Maladaptive perfectionism, on the other hand, is oriented around failure. This debilitating form of perfectionism focuses on avoiding failure, falling short of expectations, or failing to keep up the appearance that all is going well. 

Anxiety-fueled perfectionism is a form of maladaptive perfectionism that can seriously disrupt your daily life if you don’t recognize its warning signs. This form of hyper-vigilant perfectionism can often be the first warning sign of an underlying mental health condition like anxiety or depression, which are the most common mental illnesses in the world, according to the World Health Organization. In 2019, 1 in 8 people suffered from anxiety and depression.²

Anxiety-fueled perfectionism is a form of maladaptive perfectionism that can seriously disrupt your daily life if you don’t recognize its warning signs.

 Today, even more people are thought to be struggling with anxiety. During the first year of the Covid pandemic alone, WHO estimated that these numbers jumped by over 25%, signaling what many health professionals consider a global mental health crisis. 

So what is perfectionism, exactly? Therapists have a specific term for this destructive do-gooding.

According to Taijah Bell (LMSW), CEO of Taijah Bell Therapy Group in Atlanta, Georgia, “Maladaptive achievement is the clinical term for perfectionism. Individuals who struggle with maladaptive achievement typically set unrealistic and unhealthy goals for themselves and will go to any extent to achieve them.”

Maladaptive achievers may consistently re-prioritize their entire life in order to meet these expectations. They often doubt achievements that are less than perfect and may seclude themselves in order to achieve goals. 

 “In short, maladaptive perfectionism means setting unrealistic expectations for yourself,” says Bell.

It can be quite difficult to separate these behaviors from personality traits, though - like those of The Idealist. Some people are just wound a bit more tightly than others, right? You know, the people who thrive when everything is in its place - and completely freak out when things aren’t just so.

There’s a fine line between the naturally tidy, detail-oriented people of this world and anxiety-fueled perfectionists. And of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with super organized people! The trouble comes when there’s a disconnect between how the exhibited behavior is perceived, and how it’s experienced. 

Behaviors that may appear to others as evidence of a “strong work ethic” might actually be coping mechanisms that the perfectionist has developed to deal with an abusive inner dialogue. 

Maladaptive achievement can easily trigger mental health disorders, and the first one on the list is, of course, anxiety.

Perfectionism and Anxiety: Understand What’s Driving Your Behavior

Perfectionism and anxiety disorders go together like peanut butter and jelly 🥪

Anyone who demands a certain standard of order is driven by something. More often than we’d like to believe, though, the drive to make order out of disorder is fuelled by the fear of what terrible things will happen if chaos reigns.

Even adaptive perfectionists can easily fall into the trap of worrying excessively about making mistakes, which drives behavior that may originate in a healthy desire for success toward uncontrollable compulsion, paving the way to a full-blown anxiety disorder.

As clinical psychologist Kathariya Mokrue notes, “Many people with anxiety have difficulty gauging when tasks are completed to their satisfaction.”³

So what is the hallmark of anxiety, then?

The National Institute of Mental Health lists the primary symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder as follows:⁴

• Persistently feeling restless, wound-up, or on-edge

• Fatigue and tiredness

• Having difficulty concentrating

• Irritability

• Headaches, muscle aches, stomachaches, or unexplained pains

• Overwhelming feelings of worry

• Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep

For people with social anxiety disorder, the fear of making mistakes may be embedded with the underlying fear of being judged by others.⁵ For perfectionists with social anxiety, the energy required to maintain a ‘flawless’ image can make social interactions of all kinds completely exhausting. 

The Dangers of Perfectionism

Don't get me wrong, perfectionism is not all bad.

The inner drive to achieve your goals is a beautiful thing, without a doubt! There’s a reason that we glorify perfectionists. They are often the taste-makers, standard-setters, and icons of society.  

Buuuut (yep, there’s a big but here), there are perfectionists who practice acceptance and allow themselves to make mistakes (adaptive perfectionists), and there are perfectionists who can’t make a mistake even if they wanted to (maladaptive perfectionists). Instead, they suffer under the burden of their own impossible standards in silence.

And this is exactly what makes perfectionism toxic. Perfectionism goes sour when the cycle of achievement is no longer about a means to an end, but the end itself. When maladaptive perfectionism is the end of the road, the result is inevitably disappointment in the results. This endless cycle will inevitably result in higher and higher standards over time that are ultimately disconnected from a deeper sense of purpose and meaning.

In anxiety-fueled perfectionism, this cycle can quickly spiral out of control. A perfectionist with maladaptive tendencies toward self-criticism can develop a viewpoint over time that nothing they do is good enough, and exhibit behaviors that embody paralyzing self-doubt. In stressful situations, this troubling tendency toward negative self-talk can spiral into obsessive-compulsive disorder and mental health diseases like anxiety, and in some cases depression.

Maladaptive Perfectionism vs Completion Anxiety

Perfectionism is a broad term that could refer to a wide variety of underlying conditions💡  Two of the most commonly confused conditions  are maladaptive perfectionism (i.e. the compulsive perfectionism) and completion anxiety. They share common warning signs, making them difficult to tell apart.

Perfectionists in thought but not in action are known to suffer from what’s known as completion anxiety.

Completion anxiety is the fear of completing a task and the associated worry that what you’re working on won’t meet accepted standards.

 With 10 years of experience in the mental health field, Taijah Bell has treated a wide range of patients with both perfectionism and this particular form of anxiety in her practice. She notes that the two conditions are distinct from a clinical perspective; 

 “In my experience, completion anxiety is the exact opposite of maladaptive perfectionism. Someone with completion anxiety is so fearful of failing that they won’t attempt a task at all, or will attempt the task, but fail to see it through because of the possible outcome of failure.” 

 According to Bell, the key difference between these conditions is that maladaptive perfectionists will see things through and accept extreme mental and physical struggle if the outcome is anything but perfect, while someone struggling with completion anxiety won’t see a project through due to the possibility of failure, often suffering from the excessive regret of failed attempts and the paralyzing guilt of attempts that were considered but never made. 

 Her suggestion for anyone who struggles to start tasks?

 “One of my biggest suggestions to clients is utilizing a day planner.”

 When you organize deadlines, timelines, to-dos and priorities in one place, you’ll create a clear overview of everything you need to do, giving you the power to organize your life in a way that makes sense to you.

“Taking the initiative to assign your task a day and time gives you more accountability and sets a limitation on the wide range of days you have to complete a task,” says Bell.

We couldn’t agree more 😊

Our tip? If you find yourself stuck with a miles-long to-do list that kills all motivation and joy, ditch it. Yes, we give you permission to cancel your to-do list. Instead, start with a not-to-do list to focus your energy, and go from there.

Warning Signs of Anxiety-Fueled Perfectionism

So how do you know if you’re driven by anxiety-fueled perfectionism? Get to know the warning signs! 🧠 If one or more of the signs listed below resonate with your behavior, take note, and don't be afraid to seek professional advice from a therapist or medical professional.

1. Impossible Standards

The classic! Perfectionists driven by anxiety maintain that “nothing but the best will do,” no matter what. These impossibly high standards are obviously difficult to achieve or maintain, and feed right into a highly critical stream of self-talk that often continues whether or not the standards are achieved. Anxiety-driven perfectionists often ignore achievements they have accomplished that were less than perfect. Taijah Bell sees this frequently in her own practice. “A client may get a 90 on an exam, but because it wasn’t a 100, the 90 means nothing to them. In their eyes, it’s the same as a failing grade.”

2. Control Issues

“Letting go” simply isn’t in most perfectionists’ vocabulary. Perfectionists with anxiety often appoint themselves CEO of any and every detail that can possibly be managed, both professionally and personally, to maintain a sense of stability in their tumultuous inner world. The unfortunate outcome, though, is total breakdown when things don't go as smoothly as planned. If you’re overly controlling, this may manifest as resistance to others’ ideas, the view that anything spontaneous is ultimately a bad idea, or persistent worry that something unexpected is going to derail your plans. 

3. Highly Critical Self-Talk

Do you tend to take responsibility for everything that goes on in your sphere? How often do you hear that little voice that says "I should have done better!"? If your inner dialogue insists that you base your self-worth on achievement and performance, you might be struggling with anxiety. According to Bell, critical self-talk might also exhibit as constant self-comparison to others, where (surprise!) you never seem to measure up. This is a warning sign.

4. Trouble Sleeping 

We've all, at least once in our lives, had issues with our sleep.  But if you dread bedtime because it means your thoughts begin to spiral out of control with all of the things you haven’t done / can’t do / wish you did / need to do, you might be struggling with anxiety. A 2019 study on insomnia and perfectionism featured in the journal Cognitive Processing confirmed that adults who showed symptoms of perfectionism and/or anxiety had significant difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, and even preparing for bed.⁶

5. Difficulty Connecting with Others 

Anxiety-driven perfectionism can wreak havoc in relationships if you don’t spot the warning signs! According to Bell, maladaptive perfectionists might even avoid social activities altogether, driven by the belief that spending time with friends, family and romantic partners is a waste of valuable time that could be spent working towards their goals. “Perfectionists often feel that they have to sacrifice their personal lives in order to be successful,” says Bell.

The core challenge that hyper-perfectionists face in relationships is that they are typically fixated on an (impossibly idealized) image of themselves, rather than who they are. When anxiety-driven perfectionists do get out, this unrealistic self-image poses major challenges to open communication, limiting authentic connection with others due to the focus on keeping up appearances.

6. Chronic Procrastination

Anxiety is exhausting. Though it may seem surprising for people who are driven by order and organization, perfectionists with anxiety often struggle to meet deadlines. Being “perfect” takes a lot of time and energy, after all! While a good dose of attention to detail can push you to give your best, be cautious if your methods stop you from starting. This is a warning sign that anxiety may be running your life.

7. Cultural Pressure

Certain environmental and cultural factors can boost the risk that you might develop anxiety-fueled perfectionism, according to Bell. “Children who are only praised when they do things well or are held to high standards, academically or athletically, become scared to make mistakes when then grow into adults,” she says. This is also true for anyone from cultural communities that place a strong emphasis on success, achievement or excellence. Children of immigrant families often feel the pressure to be perfect due to the sacrifices their parents made,” says Bell. 

Getting Help for Anxiety-Driven Perfectionism   

There is hope, and there is help ❤️ Destructive forms of perfectionism may indicate more serious mental health conditions which need support from a mental health professional. Taijah Bell emphasizes that perfectionist tendencies are often multifaceted, and that her first treatment goal with clients who identify as perfectionists is to identify conditions like anxiety or depression. “In treating perfectionism, I identify the underlying fears with my clients, stressing the importance of compassion, building a positive self-image, aiming for “good enough”, and challenging all-or-nothing, straight-line thinking - amongst many other strategies,” she says.

• Sources

  1. Akram, Umair, Maria Gardani, Dieter Riemann, Asha Akram, Sarah F. Allen, Lambros Lazuras, and Anna F. Johann. “Dysfunctional Sleep-Related Cognition and Anxiety Mediate the Relationship between Multidimensional Perfectionism and Insomnia Symptoms.” Cognitive Processing 21, no. 1 (October 26, 2019): 141–48. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10339-019-00937-8.

  2. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). “Anxiety Disorders,” n.d. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders.

  3. Benson, Etienne S. “The Many Faces of Perfectionism.” Https://Www.Apa.Org, n.d. https://www.apa.org/monitor/nov03/manyfaces.

  4. Bridges to Recovery. “Why Perfectionism and Anxiety Disorders Go Hand-in-Hand.” Bridges to Recovery, October 25, 2020. https://www.bridgestorecovery.com/blog/why-perfectionism-and-anxiety-disorders-go-hand-in-hand/.

  5. “Social Anxiety Disorder | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA,” n.d. https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/social-anxiety-disorder.

  6. World Health Organization: WHO. “Mental Disorders.” Www.Who.Int, June 8, 2022. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-disorders.