26 Myths (and the Simple Truth) about Your Biological Clock
⏰ Tick-tock goes the clock. That's what they say about women's biological clocks, right? Let's be honest, ladies: too often, we feel anxious when we hear the so-called "biological clock" ticking away. And even when we don't feel anxious, we are constantly reminded of it.
From a very young age, we are taught to be conscious of our "internal clock." If you happen to be a woman, chances are, at least once in your lifetime, you've received that not-so-subtle hint from your parents or relatives that goes something like, "You should hurry up if you want to have kids. The clock is ticking, you know...". Even today, women face societal pressure to have children.
Most of what we've been told about the 'fertility deadline' is as accurate as a broken watch. Many myths surround the topic of female fertility, such as the idea of a "fertility cliff" at the age of 30 and the idea of a ticking time bomb. Our goal, however, is to bring clarity to this topic and offer a fresh perspective to help us break free from the social pressures of our biological clocks.
Get ready because we're about to take a myth-busting journey, challenging the societal constructs and media stereotypes that dictate our roles as women based on our reproductive abilities. With the help of Wenlin Tan, a flow, well-being, and mindfulness coach, let's debunk the myths and discover the real story behind the so-called "biological clock."
Fertility, Menstruation, and the Biological Clock with Guest Expert Wenlin Tan
With Wenlin's guidance, we will answer this simple question. With over 15 years of experience at the intersection of mindfulness, creativity, psychology, and wellness, Wenlin is a certified coach and women's moving meditation specialist who helps clients find alignment and cultivate clarity, confidence, and flow in their career, health, and personal life. She achieves this through transformative tools like behavioral health coaching and the ancient wisdom practices of Qigong, Taichi, Traditional Chinese Medicine philosophy, Aqua Yoga, and Tai Chi Easy™.
She explains the importance of talking about this topic beautifully:
“Our history outlines who we were, but it does not determine who we are. In order to decide who we become, we necessarily have to look into some of these things, including menstrual trauma. What we might have experienced surrounding our first menstruation, and how it was handled. The kind of language that was used in the conversations with people in our lives about menstruation, if any. No matter whether you're menstruating or no longer menstruating, you should take a moment and reflect on the hidden emotions, trauma, guilt, and shame that you might have dealt with or are dealing with.”
Myth 1: "A Woman's fertility plummets after 30"
This is perhaps the most common myth. The truth is that from the dawn of time, pop culture loves to panic women by claiming that once they hit 30, their fertility drastically plummets. We've been fed this narrative from magazine covers to movies until it's become a cultural, universal truth.
The Simple Truth: Ladies, keep calm! Research shows that while fertility does decline with age, the drop isn't a dramatic nosedive at 30. Many women conceive well into their 30s and even 40s. Because, in the end, this myth completely overlooks the complex interplay of circadian clocks, daily rhythms, and health implications on fertility. Because, in truth, our bodies are governed not just by age but also by factors like regular sleep schedules and overall health. So, breathe easy, and remember, your fertility isn't a ticking time bomb set to go off the minute you blow out those 30 candles.
Myth 2: "Men's fertility is ageless"
Another common, yet wrong, assumption is that men’s fertility is completely ageless. The automatic translation of this assumption is that while society strictly scrutinizes women's biological clocks, men are often portrayed as the ones who can always be fertile even when they reach a very mature age.
The Simple Truth: Little reality check here: men aren't immune to the march of time. Studies reveal that men's fertility also declines with age, affecting both sperm quality and quantity.
Myth 3: "Child-free women live a life of regret"
Ever heard the one about how women who don't have kids will inevitably regret it? This myth is a classic, often dished at family gatherings or in many patronizing articles.
The Simple Truth: Choosing to be child-free is a valid and fulfilling life choice for many. Research and countless personal testimonies show that regret is far from a universal experience. So, let's all try to respect and celebrate diverse life choices, shall we?
Myth 4: "Pregnancy after 35 is extremely risky"
This good old tale loves to warn women of all cultures and times about the dangers of the so-called 'geriatric pregnancies' (a term that should be retired, by the way) without any scientific basis.
The Simple Truth: While certain risks do increase with age, most women over 35 have healthy pregnancies and babies. It's more about individual health and circumstances than an arbitrary age limit.
Myth 5: "Only older women need fertility testing"
There's a common misconception that only women of advanced age need fertility assessments as though we women were automatically unable to conceive after a certain age.
Simple Truth: Fertility testing can be valuable for women of any age who have concerns about their reproductive health.
Myth 6: "Having a baby later in life is unfair to the child"
The decision to have a baby later in life often comes with a heavy dose of judgment. People tend to have preconceived notions that older parents are selfish or irresponsible in making such a choice. However, there are various reasons why a couple might choose to have a baby later in life, such as financial stability, career aspirations, or medical reasons. Ultimately, the decision to have a baby later in life should be left to the discretion of the parents, and society should be more accepting of their choices.
The Simple Truth: Studies show that older parents often bring stability, patience, and wisdom to the parenting table. Because in the end, age is just a number, and what matters most is the love and care given to the child.
Myth 7: "Fertility treatments always result in multiple births"
Thanks to sensational headlines in magazines and social media, alongside the usual celebrity stories, many people often tend to believe fertility treatments usually lead to twins, triplets, or more.
The Simple Truth: While the chances of multiple births are higher with some treatments, it's not a given. Advances in fertility medicine are continually reducing these odds, making single births more likely.
Myth 8: "Your menstrual cycle is a reliable fertility indicator"
The belief that a regular cycle equals no fertility issues is also another common yet incredibly wrong belief.
The Simple Truth: Regular periods are just one piece of the fertility puzzle. Factors like egg quality and reproductive health play significant roles, too.
Myth 9: "Lifestyle choices don't impact fertility"
Some believe that lifestyle choices like diet, exercise, and stress levels don't really affect fertility. As though your body could never really be affected by external factors or lifestyle choices.
The Simple Truth: Lifestyle factors play a crucial role in fertility for both men and women. A balanced diet, daily cycle, regular exercise, and stable blood pressure can positively influence reproductive health.
Myth 10: "All women experience a strong maternal instinct"
Society often perpetuates the stereotype that every woman has an innate, overwhelming desire to have children. As though the only purpose of a woman on this planet is just to bear children and take care of the household.
The Simple Truth: Women are diverse, and so are their feelings about motherhood. Some feel a strong maternal pull, while others don't, and both are perfectly normal.
You Might Also Like: 20 Quotes for Women’s Empowerment
Myth 11: "Birth control pills can jeopardize fertility"
You probably have heard this one very often. But is there any scientific evidence to prove this? Nowadays (yes, even today), some believe that long-term use of birth control pills can permanently harm a woman's fertility.
The Simple Truth: There's no conclusive evidence linking birth control pills to long-term fertility issues. Fertility typically returns to its normal level shortly after stopping the pill.
Myth 12: "Infertility is always due to a physical problem"
Infertility is a complex issue that can have various causes. However, there is a common assumption that infertility is always caused by physical health problems. This assumption overlooks the fact that infertility can also be caused by psychological factors, lifestyle choices, and environmental factors. It is important to recognize that infertility is a multifaceted issue that requires a comprehensive approach to diagnosis and treatment.
The Simple Truth: Infertility can stem from a range of factors, including physical, hormonal, and even psychological issues. It's a complex interplay of various elements. Yes, fertility is naturally dependent on a healthy body, but it goes without saying that alongside physical factors, there's also a series of environmental factors, like stress or bad lifestyle choices, for example, being constantly exposed to the blue light from our electronic devices that can play a major role in infertility.
Myth 13: "Menopause marks the end of women's fertility"
There's a common belief that once menopause hits, it's an absolute end to fertility. Almost as though as menopause is a thing that happens overnight.
The Simple Truth: While menopause significantly reduces fertility, it's a gradual process. Pregnancy is still possible in the early stages of this transition.
Furthermore, Wenlin Tan shares some interesting information about Traditional Chinese Medicine and menopause: “According to TCM, the cessation of the period is not negative. It is believed that our energy, instead of going to producing blood to support another life that will be birthed out into the world, is conserved within. In TCM, very often, the menopause period is called the second spring, which is when we flourish again, so it's quite a different perspective, I would say.”
Myth 14: "You can't have a healthy baby after two miscarriages"
This myth unnecessarily worries women, suggesting that after two miscarriages, the chances of a healthy pregnancy are slim.
The Simple Truth: Many women have healthy pregnancies after experiencing miscarriages. In fact, a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that women who had experienced one or two previous miscarriages had a similar likelihood of having a live birth compared to women with no previous miscarriages.
Myth 16: "If your mom had you late, you can too"
Some believe that if their mother had children later in life, they can too, as if fertility were a family heirloom. Genetics do play a role, but it's not a definitive rule.
The Simple Truth: The role of genetics in fertility is undeniable, as it can influence various aspects of reproductive health. However, it's important to note that having similar genetic makeup with someone else does not guarantee that you will have the same reproductive timeline. Factors such as lifestyle choices, environmental factors, and overall health can also play a crucial role in determining one's fertility. Therefore, it's essential to take a holistic approach to fertility and prioritize overall health and well-being to increase the chances of successful reproduction.
Myth 17: "Pregnancy over 40 always needs medical intervention"
There's the common belief that since women over 40 tend to have more issues during pregnancy, they necessarily require medical intervention.
The Simple Truth: Many women over 40 conceive naturally, though some may require medical support. So as you can understand, the idea that women over 40 cannot conceive naturally and always require medical assistance is an exaggeration.
Myth 18: "Older mothers can't bond with their kids"
It's absurdly assumed that older mothers have difficulty bonding with their children because of some sort of generational gap or insufficient energy. There is no evidence to support this myth.
The Simple Truth: The age of a mother does not determine the quality of her motherhood. Many older mothers have been known to form deep, loving bonds with their children, just as younger mothers do. The ability to love and care for one's child is not limited by age, but rather by the willingness and dedication of the mother to provide the best possible care for her child.
Myth 19: "Late pregnancy always means birth defects"
Yet another myth that you probably hear all the time when facing the "biological clock" topic with other people. And the idea that late pregnancy automatically equals birth defects can be actually a rather dangerous assumption because some women may be consciously or unconsciously reject the idea of having a late pregnancy because they're anxious about the baby's health.
The Simple Truth: This alarming myth ignores the advances in understanding how our circadian cycle, impacted by environmental factors and daily rhythms, can influence pregnancy outcomes at any age. In fact, many older women have healthy pregnancies and babies, although some risks are slightly higher.
Myth 20: "A woman’s career kills her fertility”
There is a commonly held belief that women who prioritize their careers are forced to sacrifice their ability to have children. However, this notion is not only outdated but also untrue.
The Simple Truth: Fertility is influenced by many factors; and just a gentle reminder: career isn’t a fertility death sentence. The decision to have children is a personal one, and there are many ways for women to balance their career aspirations with their desire to start a family. With advances in reproductive technology and more flexible work arrangements, women today have more options than ever before. It's time to dispel the myth that career-focused women must choose between their professional goals and their fertility, and embrace the idea that both can be pursued simultaneously.
Myth 21: "You'll find motherhood unfulfilling if you wait too long”
The age-old myth suggests that waiting too long to have children leads to less fulfillment, which is perpetuated by societal pressures. The truth is that there is no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to the best time to have children, as this decision is highly personal and depends on a variety of factors, such as career goals, financial stability, and personal preferences. Ultimately, the most important thing is for individuals to make the decision that is right for them and their families.
Simple Truth: Yet another reality check: fulfillment from motherhood isn't age-dependent!
Myth 22: "Egg quality can't be improved"
There's a common misconception that a woman's egg quality is fixed and unchangeable.
The Simple Truth: While age is a factor, certain health and lifestyle changes can positively influence egg quality. So contrary to this myth, emerging research suggests that managing circadian rhythms, such as regulating sleep schedules and limiting blue light exposure from electronic devices, might positively influence egg quality.
Myth 23: "Second pregnancy is easier if you're older"
The belief that the second time around is easier if you're older lacks scientific backing and varies widely among individuals.
The Simple Truth: When it comes to the belief that the second time around is easier if you're older, there is no scientific backing for this theory. It varies widely from person to person and between different scenarios. Because in the end, every pregnancy is different, and age doesn’t guarantee an easier experience.
Myth 24: "Irregular menstrual cycles are linked to infertility"
If your menstrual cycle is irregular, most likely you've googled the causes and the possible outcomes that it can have on your life. And chances are that you've stumbled across the phrase "irregular menstrual cycle equals infertility", making you feel like irregular menstruation automatically means 0 chances of getting pregnant.
The Simple Truth: Irregular menstrual cycles may not be the culprit behind infertility, but they sure do give us a clue that something fishy is going on with our reproductive hormones. Irregular menstrual cycles could mean that your body is just doing its own thing, like not releasing an egg or having a different fertility window. But anyway, as a general rule, as long as you're ovulating, you can be fertile.
Myth 25: "The COVID-19 vaccine impacts fertility"
Although COVID-19 already feels like an unsettling yet distant nightmare, there are still some misconceptions around it that have completely no scientific base. And one of these is that the COVID-19 vaccine impacts fertility. I bet you too stumbled across that conspiratory theory that said so but is there any scientific base that proves that?
The Simple Truth: A groundbreaking study funded by the National Institutes of Health, which carefully observed over 2,000 couples, has unequivocally debunked the myth that COVID-19 vaccination affects your chances of conception.
Myth 26: "Older mothers lack the energy to spend time with their children"
I remember I heard my grandmother saying this all the time. And probably, I'm not the only one. Especially in older generations, there's the tendency to believe that older mothers should not conceive because they're not as strong and healthy as they used to be in their 20s so as a consequence, their energy levels are too low to allow them to spend time with their children.
The Simple Truth: The idea that older mothers lack the energy to spend time with their children is a simplistic and unfounded generalization. Energy levels and parenting effectiveness depend on various factors, including health, lifestyle, personal circumstances, and societal support, rather than age alone.