(Yes) Happiness Is A Choice: Take These 10 Steps to Center Joy
Yes, happiness is a choice; and it’s more attainable than you might think.
How, exactly?
It seems so easy to focus on daily stresses, anxieties, and pressures of life, while real moments of joy are few and far between.
To choose happiness, you need to make a habit of consistently choosing to view the best in a situation. This doesn’t mean living in some delusion that everything is rosy all of the time. It means accepting that unhappiness is just as much a part of life as happiness, and finding joy regardless.
So, What Does The Science Say: Is Happiness Really A Choice?
is happiness a choice
The science looks good for unhappy, disgruntled or depressed people (for once). It seems that happiness is indeed a choice.
According to Rick Hanson, a neuropsychologist and the author of Hardwiring Happiness, your brain is predisposed to seek out all that is bad. Âą
As Rick writes, '“your brain is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.” Negative thoughts stick. It’s easy to ruminate on bad experiences while forgetting to appreciate the really good ones.
Happiness is a matter of overcoming this tendency. Just by taking a few moments to sit in a positive experience and to recognize the happiness in that moment, you’re rewiring your brain to be happy, moment by moment.
In any given moment, with focus, you can find your happy place: A refuge from your overthinking mind and hectic day-to-day.
So, what is the research saying about all of this?
In 2012, the Journal of Positive Psychology did a study on how to be happy. ²
Their question was this:
Does trying to be happy help or hinder actual happiness?
They conducted two experiments to determine this, broken down like this:
The first experiment split participants into two groups. The first group was asked to make a concerted effort to boost their moods while listening to 12 minutes of music while the second group was simply asked to listen. Unsurprisingly, the group attempting to boost their moods reported elevated feelings of happiness compared to the group that just listened to the same music.
In the second experiment, participants were instructed to intentionally “try to become happier, versus not trying”. The group with happy intentions reported higher instances of subjective happiness compared to the group that didn’t have happy intentions.
Conclusion? Simply choosing to be happy can actually boost your mood.
Choosing To Be Happy In 10 Steps
So, if happiness is a choice, what are some steps that assist in achieving higher levels of happiness?
Thankfully, it’s really pretty simple. Here are some powerful, simple self-practices that will boost your mood.
1. Linger On Positives
Linger on the positives when they present themselves. We are surrounded by opportunities to do this, sometimes it can just be hard to notice. Mindset is everything here, if you can find the focus to appreciate little wins or moments of happiness throughout your day, before you know it, you’ll find more and more to celebrate.
2. Turn Around Negatives
Turn moments of negativity into positives. As they say, it is all about perspective. Instead of allowing a single moment to ruin the next hour, day, or week of your life, simply allow yourself to see the positives. Treat adversity as a lesson, an opportunity for growth. Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness and bad days give you experience.
3. Don’t Ruminate
Allow negative thoughts to come and go just like any other thought. Ruminating only increases frustrations and feelings of unhappiness. Instead, recognize that whatever will be, will be. Most issues will work themselves out eventually,
4. Find Your Breath
Breath is like an in-built mood ring that helps you to assess your current emotional state. Adverse or pessimistic feelings can easily be dismantled with a few simple in-breaths and out-breaths. For example, feelings of anger or frustration arise physically as fast, shallow breathing. Our bodies tell our brains what we are experiencing and vice versa. Remembering to breathe calmly and steadily can quickly and effectively tell your body and mind that you are in control and everything will be ok.
5. Remember To Smile
A little secret to boosting your mood is as easy as making yourself smile. Just like our breath can tell our minds that we are okay, so too can a smile. Don’t force it, reflect on a recent memory that instills feelings of happiness. Think of family or friends, remind yourself of what is important and why it’s important for you to be happy. After all, smiling is contagious. Isn’t it nice that you can help the people around you be happy as well?
6. Practice Gratitude
Cultivating gratitude can help you to appreciate the small pleasures in life. Every moment can’t be spent on a beachside holiday in Hawaii, but there are certainly plenty of small win moments that we often overlook. Taking time out to appreciate the setting sun or really taking in (with your new-found breath) your morning walk in the park can do wonders for improving your everyday mood.
7. Practice Compassion
The desire to relieve others of pain or suffering is incredibly beneficial to your own happiness. If you are able to empathize with someone’s feelings of sorrow or discomfort it helps to boost our bonds with the people around us. The feeling of being valued and appreciated by friends, family, or strangers is integral to our own self-worth and overall happiness. Don’t forget to practice this on yourself as well. Sometimes we aren’t always so kind to ourselves so take some time out for self-care, or gently correct your inner voice when it’s is being a bit too harsh.
8. Allow Yourself To Be Happy
Be flexible. Don’t get too stuck in your beliefs, opinions, or mindset. The comfort of familiarity can be a burden sometimes. Fear of change may lead you to pretend to yourself or others that you are content, when really deep down you crave laughter and silliness in your life. Choose life, choose happiness!
9. Wake Up For You
Here comes another one. Your alarm rings and you roll out of bed straight into your daily routine. You smash out another productive day, watch your favorite Netflix show and then drift back to sleep.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
Sound familiar?
Wouldn’t it feel great to have an extra half an hour or an hour just for you?
Why not cut back your evening Netflix session to just one episode and wake up just that little bit earlier?
What about looking at the sky first thing in the morning instead of a screen?
Finding time to yourself doesn’t have to be a major production. Collect the moments one by one, and you’ll find peace of mind along the way.
10. Hold Back Those Complaints
Last, but certainly not least: Refrain from unnecessary complaints.
It really doesn’t help anybody's mood whether it’s yours, the person you’re complaining to or the person you may be complaining about. Things really are never that bad. Remember there is always something to be thankful for, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.